Identify who are the people you spend most of your time with socially. Then take a candid inventory on who is depleting your happiness or your slowing your success and who is moving those forward? It might sound judgmental but their influence can hinder your happiness, success, and growth. If the depleting person is a co-worker or family member you cannot avoid, try changing the relationship by practicing kindness. As humans we will almost always reciprocate what is given unless we are very aware and intentional in our interactions. So get out of those ruts and create new ones.

Identify the type of person you want to be around. It could be someone who always has a positive outlook, it might be someone with a growth mindset that challenges you to think outside the box and grow. When coming up with your list think about people who will grow you and ask the thought-provoking questions. Thinking about “who you want to be when you grow up” Friends you look up to for whatever reason can help make you a better version of yourself.

Finding that tribe. It can be challenging to find a tribe or create a new one. You can start by deciding what’s important to you then find an interest group online. Meetup.com is a great place to meet new people with similar interest. You can reach out to the event coordinator if you are feeling nervous and introduce yourself ahead of time.

Volunteer to help in an area that interest you. In this life, you get what you give. Not only will you meet like-minded people you will be giving back.

Take a class. Is there something you are want to learn to challenge yourself or help grow you into an area you want to be? A class is a great way to develop new connections.

Find a mentor. There are many programs you can sign up for that offer mentorship. Some are complimentary and others have fees.

Bottom line the people around you matter.

Write down a list of your goals

Next, write down the 5 people you spend most of your time with

Under each person write down attributes they have that will help you reach your goals: Success, positive outlook, healthy diet, etc.

Create a scale 1 to 5 and give each number a value 5 being Positive Influence, 1 being I feel depressed and negative after spending time with them

Assign a number to each person 1 to 5

Evaluate: Look at the attributes if there are any and the score.

Begin decreasing the time you spend with people who aren’t your ideal and start increasing time with more ideal people or find the ideal people.

Be open to change – your 5 people may evolve as you change

Put yourself under the microscope. Be cognizant of whom you are helping, inspiring and holding to a higher standard. Most great relationships are symbiotic, whereby people bring out the best or worst in one another. How can you do a better job or what else can you bring to other people’s lives to help them? Is there even someone whose average you’re bringing down?